| Communication in relationships is one of the | | | | Here are a few things to consider as you try and |
| biggest challenges that people need to deal with | | | | create an open, honest and nurturing climate in |
| today. Whenever you put two people together in | | | | your relationship. |
| a relationship, they each bring different values, | | | | 1. Do not invalidate the other person by your |
| beliefs, expectations, history, education, agendas, | | | | words or actions. |
| goals, personality style, communication style, | | | | 2. Listen to them without an agenda or |
| feelings, life outlook and old baggage to each and | | | | expectations. |
| every interaction. | | | | 3. Observe your own non-verbal signals while your |
| It is difficult, at best, to communicate effectively | | | | partner is talking. |
| with another person with each of these unique life | | | | 4. Look for their real intent and bypass his or her |
| outlooks, agendas and differences. The keys to | | | | delivery. |
| better communication in a relationship are | | | | 5. Avoid negative words that can sting the other |
| recognizing these differences, and the willingness | | | | person. |
| to be flexible, accepting, understanding and | | | | 6. All anger is rooted in fear so look beneath the |
| non-judgmental of the other person's views, | | | | anger and ask yourself -what is my partner afraid |
| opinions or communication style. | | | | of? |
| Almost always, the root of communication | | | | 7. Lean to be an encourager. |
| difficulty can be found in any one of the previous | | | | 8. Give frequent verbal appreciation. |
| areas. | | | | 9. Do not interrupt them. |
| The first step in improving communication with | | | | 10. Ask probing open ended questions. |
| another person is to look inward rather than | | | | 11. Keep eye contact. |
| outward for the cause of the problem. This is not | | | | 12. Avoid dealing in blame or finger pointing. |
| always easy, as we tend to "fall in love" with our | | | | Remember that most people are doing the best |
| own views, opinions and attitudes. As far as most | | | | they can with what they have at their disposal at |
| of us are concerned it is not me but you that has | | | | the present time. And don't forget that when you |
| the problem! You must be willing to take at least | | | | judge another person, these judgments say more |
| 50 percent of the responsibility of the quality of | | | | about who you are than who he or she is. |
| your overall communication. | | | | |