| Being the typical, young, male, commitment-phobe | | | | inside at what they feel and outside at their |
| I am, I've had a few of these conversations. | | | | circumstance before making a decision, but there |
| Some went better than others. All were | | | | are a few things you can do to make things |
| uncomfortable. If I only knew... | | | | smoother. |
| Firstly I want to highlight I am no love doctor or | | | | |
| dating coach, but relationships are an important | | | | 1. Be Prepared. It's going to happen sooner or |
| factor of lifestyle design. More so for the location | | | | later. Just knowing its coming will stop you being |
| independent worker or globetrotter, as many | | | | caught off guard. |
| people you meet won't have your level of | | | | 2. Control the environment. Don't let an argument |
| flexibility. | | | | or a fight spark the conversation. Try to avoid |
| New Love | | | | having it in public or when you might be |
| Ahh, new love, is there anything more exciting? | | | | interrupted (like in the morning before work). If |
| The first few days, weeks or months after a | | | | the environment isn't right, move it. Tell them you |
| chance encounter leads to meeting someone new | | | | understand this is an important conversation but |
| and exciting. The first eye-gaze, the first joke, | | | | you don't feel this is the right time and place. Set |
| the first kiss, the first time you [adult reference]. | | | | a new time and place, somewhere you won't be |
| Days filled with flirty text messages, stories, | | | | distracted. |
| teasing and laughter. In the office it's easy to | | | | 3. Be honest. Relationships are tricky. Sometimes |
| spot. Cheeky grins and chuckles while typing an | | | | you just don't know. And deciding if you want to |
| 'important email' - definitive signs of a flirty | | | | commit to someone is a massive decision. So if |
| conversation. These days or weeks can become | | | | you don't know where your head or your heart |
| some of your fondest memories until... | | | | is, be honest. Talk through what you like and don't |
| D-Day | | | | like about the relationship. Talk through your life |
| D-Day: the day of the Determine the Relationship | | | | situation and the things that may be holding you |
| (DTR) conversation. This is the talk where your | | | | back. If you're not sure, say so. It's unfair on the |
| potential partner drops a question like "what's | | | | other person to be vague or deceptive because |
| happening between us?", "where this is going?" or | | | | you need more time to figure things out. |
| "my friends have been asking me about my | | | | 4. Accept the outcome. Usually this conversation |
| relationship status on Facebook?". You know it's | | | | will finish with 1 of 3 outcomes. Either you move |
| coming, but you never know just quite when, | | | | forward with your relationship, you continue as |
| where or how. Sometimes it'll be as obvious as a | | | | things are to reassess in the future or you part |
| smack in the face, sometimes as subtle as... | | | | ways to look for greener pastures. Whatever the |
| something really subtle. Typically face-to-face, | | | | case, be mature and accept the outcome. Don't |
| occasionally on the phone - I've even had one | | | | have a hissy fit if it doesn't work out like your |
| over txt (gen-y in action) but it is bound to | | | | dreams (her offering a no strings attached |
| come. Depending on how things are going so far | | | | relationship and all her friends are invited / him |
| and your situation in life, this conversation can be | | | | proposing while doing the dishes and calling your |
| a huge weight off your chest or the | | | | mum). |
| uncomfortable moment you've been dreading. | | | | 5. Understand the outcome can change. |
| Either way, it's an inevitable and important talk | | | | Remember, whatever happens, you can usually |
| that will set foundations for the relationship and | | | | change it. Sometimes, losing someone is the only |
| should not be overlooked. | | | | way you realise how much you care for them (or |
| Strategy | | | | how much they annoy you). |
| Every relationship is different. People need to look | | | | Ever had a weird, funny or scary DTR talk? |