Grammar Gremlins - Be Rid of Them and Sound Smarter

Grammar and other usage errors grate on thelaying my stuff out on the floor to dry.
ears of people in the know--just as fingernails on6. Contractions vs. Possessives Puzzlers:
a chalkboard do. There are several good reasonsThe apostrophe in a contraction replaces one or
for knowing and using correct or polishedmore letters that have been removed. It's = It is.
grammar: you sound smarter in the worlds ofThey're = They are. We use the apostrophe to
education and business, you have moreshow possession when we state a subject's
confidence in your ability to speak to anyone, andname but not with the pronoun for that same
you can guide your children to learn the right waysubject. Avoid making the "apostrophe sprinkling"
to speak right from the start. Here are my toperror on pronouns --double check what you are
10 grammar gripes. There are more than ten thatreally saying. Watch your use of your and you're.
occur frequently in basic, everyday AmericanThey should be pronounced differently, too.
English that we could work on to repair. TheseExamples:
are presented in recognition of May is BetterThe dog was wagging its tail. (NOT: The dog was
Hearing and Speech Month, but our collectivewagging it's tail. Check this error: The dog is
attention to correct language usage is neededwagging it is tail-NOT!)
every day of the year.They're going to the game. (Check it: They are
Before getting started, realize as you read thatgoing to the game. NOT: Their going to the
some of my topics and examples will soundgame.)
incorrect to you. That will be because you are soYou're really going to like this. (Check it: You are
used to hearing yourself and others make thesereally going to like this. NOT: Your really going to
errors daily, and you think the wrong way is right.like this.)
Check these out by doing a quick online search ofI want to see your new car. (NOT: I want to see
grammar errors. Using the format of a popularyou're new car-which would check out as, I want
late-night television host, I will count backwardsto see you are new car.)
from number 10 to number 1, saving my personalTip: Pronounce your as "yore" and you're as
most-gruesome grammar gremlin for last."yoo-er" to help you keep these two straight.
10. Subject-Verb Disagreement:5. Comma Conundrum:
I hear subjects and verbs "argue" in everydayOne of the most common "comma sprinkling"
speech uttered by everyday people and byerrors I see is the use of a comma where one is
people who broadcast the news. We need morenot needed. There should be a comma between
agreement in this world! We all know what singulartwo clauses that can each "stand alone" as
and plural mean. If the subject is singular, the verbseparate sentences without the conjunction (and,
must be, also. Similarly, if the subject is plural, thebut, so, etc.)
verb must be. Use your knowledge to check ifExample:
you usage is correct. "One" means one, right? TheWe drove to the mountains, and we stayed in a
number one is singular, so you must use a singularreally cute cabin. (This is correct because each
verb such as "is". This applies to the wordsclause is a separate complete sentence: We
everyone, anyone, each person, no one, nobody,drove to the mountains. We stayed in a really
and none. The word couple, as in a marriedcute cabin.)
couple, represents a singular entity, so it mustThere should NOT be a comma between one
have a singular verb, also. The words data andindependent (stand alone) clause and one
bacteria are actually plural words, so they mustdependent (incomplete sentence) clause.
have plural verbs-really. I'm amazed how manyWe drove to the mountains, and stayed in a
people with advanced science knowledge don'treally cute cabin. WRONG
realize this.We drove to the mountains and stayed in a really
Examples:cute cabin. RIGHT
Everyone must bring his or her permission slip4. May vs. Can Switcheroo:
back. (Not: Everyone must bring their permissionMay is defined as being permitted or allowed and
slips back.)âEUR¨can is defined as being able to. If someone asks,
None was home. (NOT: None were home.)"Can I go with you?" the correct answer really is,
The couple was on vacation. (NOT: The couple"I don't know, are you able to?" Enough said. I
were on vacation.)really wish parents would teach children to ask,
The data are wrong. (NOT: The data is wrong.)"May I...?" rather than, "Can I?" I don't know why
There are bacteria on everything. (NOT: There's"May I" has apparently become viewed as stilted
bacteria on everything.)or too hard for a child to say. It actually is easier
9. Subject and Object Pronoun Scramble:for young children to pronounce the /m/ sound in
The use of "I" as a subject pronoun and "me" asmay than the /k/ sound in can.
an object pronoun should be clear to most people.3. Less vs. Fewer Fritz Out:
So, line up I, he, she, we, and they as subjectThis one's simple and used so annoyingly
pronouns to use before verbs. Keep me, him, her,incorrectly in a lot of advertising these days. Use
us, and them as object pronouns to use afterless for "mass nouns" that represent things that
verbs. It seems the most common error occurshave an amount that can't be counted and use
when people forget their manners and don't letfewer for "count nouns" that can be counted.
others go first, figuratively speaking. When talkingExamples:
about yourself and someone else, use theCalories can be counted, so something can be said
pronoun for the other person first.to have fewer calories.
Examples:This beer has fewer calories than our other beers.
She and I went to the concert together. (NOT:(NOT: less calories!)
Her and I went..., or, worse yet, Her and meHair is usually thought of in a mass (when is the
went, or Me and her went....)last time you counted strands of hair?) so use the
Mom gave it to her and me. (The "check" on thisword less for this one.
is to break out each part to see if it is right. InMy daughter has less hair than my son did at this
this case, Mom gave it to her, and Mom gave itage.
to me are both correct.) It is NOT correct to2. When a Guy is Not a Guy:
say, Mom gave it to she and I.We're getting close to my top pet peeve on this
8. Past Tense Verb Switch Out:one. I detest the expression, "How are you guys
I still rehearse some of the verb "declensions" Itonight?" most especially when I am being greeted
learned in high school. I hope they are still beingby someone at a nice place (restaurant, hotel,
taught; it would help people to know the rightetc.) My response inside my head is always a
forms. Let's toss the past participles (used withsimmering, "I'm not a 'guy'." The word you is just
"have") into this section, too, to add clarity. Herefine all by itself, thank you very much. Try saying,
we go with some declensions of common"How are you?" the next time you greet
verbs:drink drank drunksink sank sunkswim swamsomeone. It truly sounds terrific.
swumrun ran rungo went gonesee saw seen1. Who vs. That Craziness:
Examples:Since when is a dog a person and a person an
I drank all of my milk. (Not: I drunk all of my milk.)animal or inanimate object? I know we love our
I have drunk 4 glasses of water. (NOT: I havepets and often personify them, but they are not
drank.)people. The word who was designed for people,
I went to the store.and it needs to stay that way, unless we are
I have already gone to the store. (NOT: I haveready to switch places with animals and machines.
went....)If I collected $10 every time I heard or read
I swam ten laps.these two pronouns misused on television or in
I have swum ten laps.magazines, I could pay my mortgage with that
7. It's No Lie: Lie vs. Lay is a Top Tripper-Upper:money each month. Watch how often a dog,
This usage error can actually be embarrassing.company, or other non-human is referred to with
Conjugate these:lie lay lain* lying (*use with have:the word who and how often a person is
have lain)-Use this to mean reclining: He lies aroundassigned the pronoun that. If you start noticing,
all day. She lay in bed with a fever. I have lain inyou will feel as crazy as I do. I am sorry about
bed for days. I am lying on the couch because Ithat!
don't feel well.If you have read to the end and are thanking me
Lay laid laid* laying (*use with have: have laid)-Useright now for enlightening you on a few or more
this to mean placing something, and always use anof these language blunders, I will say, 'You're
object word with it: I lay the book on the table. Iwelcome" to you rather than another expression I
laid my coat on the chair. I have laid my keyslove to hate which is, "No problem." That
somewhere, and now I can't find them. I amexpression makes me growl. Grrr.